Ultimate Snowplow-Redneck Funnies

Now I am all about being prepared, especially in winter. Here is how you build a plow truck on the cheap!

Now I am all about being prepared, especially in winter. With winter time upon us, I found this picture to be very appropriate.  Here is how you build a plow truck on the cheap!

Continue reading “Ultimate Snowplow-Redneck Funnies”

My Kind of Doctor

Hilarious answers from doctor

This was an email and just way too funny not to share. Sorry this has little to do with Homesteading, but funny as heck! Ill put this under Redneck Funnies cuz it fits!

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Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it… Don’t waste on exercise.. Everything wear out eventually. Speed up heart not make live longer; that like say you can extend life of car by driving faster. Want live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. What are these? Vegetables. So, steak nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give 100% recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine. That means they take water out of fruity bit; get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made out of grain.. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: If you have body and you have fat, ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Cannot think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No Pain…Good!

Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU NOT LISTENING!!! …. Foods fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only do sit-ups if want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: You crazy? HELLO. Cocoa beans! Vegetable!!! Cocoa beans best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming good for figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! ‘Round’ is shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

AND…..

For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies:

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Custom Sidecar

Custom built sidecar

redneck_sidecar

Here you have some custom ingenuity! Determined not to let his girlfriend to up the beverage holder he put on the back of his motorcycle, he built a custom sidecar. It appears to be made of wood and a bicycle wheel. Let us not forget to mention the sweet “one size fits all” 70’s lawn chair. What is really amazing is the fact that he had enough forsight to mount a spare!

Redneck Yacht

Redneck yacht club. Member 001
Redneck yacht club. Member 001

I thought I would start a new category. As I search the web for homestead ideas, I keep running by some of the funniest projects ever! So Ill post them up from time to time. This is a totally awesome project. Scamp travel trailer with 2 story view. Huge AC unit to keep the place like an icebox. Seems to be a fairly sturdy ladder. Very smart idea using truck tool boxes that second as bench seats for anyone brave enough to board with ya. Im sure one of them seconds as an icechest as well, of course. As least he thought things through and place a hand rail on the second level!